Divorce is a difficult process, often exacerbated by how long it takes to bring a divorce to a conclusion. With financial discovery and motion practice, and residual post-COVID-19 court backlogs, it can be several years before a divorce case goes to trial or is resolved by settlement. Add to that the fact that litigants, attorneys, and others involved in the case have life changes and events that can snag the process. But if you would like to accelerate your divorce, these tips may help:
1. Remove Your Case from the Court System: Because the Court process can be slow and you are one of hundreds of cases before a Judge, hire attorneys who have the experience that translates to helping you settle out of Court. If necessary, and if you have the means and your spouse agrees, then hire a mediator to help negotiate a settlement or an arbitrator to hear your case and issue a decision. Beware, however, that if you hire an arbitrator, you will likely be stuck with their decision since it is typically binding.
2. Choose Between Your Time or Your Money: Make a decision as to what is most important to you – your time or your money. If it is your time, then end the tough negotiations on lesser points, and make an offer to your spouse that may less favorable to you than you had originally wanted, but that will allow you to end the process and move on with your life. If your answer is money – then prepare yourself for the long haul. (But be careful not to spend more on counsel fees than you seek to gain at trial or in settlement).
3. Have a Prenuptial or Postnuptial/Marital Agreement: This advice is not for someone divorcing who did not previously enter into a Prenuptial or Postnuptial/Marital agreement with their spouse. However, be smart the second time around. Prenuptial (entered into before marriage) and postnuptial or marital (entered into during marriage) agreements can resolve many of the issues that you face in divorce (but generally neither child support nor child custody). Although it can be uncomfortable to ask your (intended) spouse for such an agreement, it may be worth facing the awkward conversation to potentially avoid an expensive, drawn-out, emotionally taxing litigated divorce.
4. Set the Tone: The posture that you take matters. An aggressive posture is going to lead to a drawn-out process. Be strategic about how you approach the process so that the results are not only fair but as swift as possible.
5. Leave Your Emotions at the Door: Divorce is an emotional process. Take your time to work through your emotions. Work with a therapist if necessary. It is best to leave your emotions behind when negotiating your divorce settlement.
6. Look at the Big Picture: New York is a no-fault divorce state. Each spouse’s perspective on why the marriage is ending generally has little impact on financial matters (talk to your attorney about the limited exceptions here). Do not get bogged down in the blame game – it takes time and diverts attention away from the big picture.